Captivity

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
-2 Corinthians 10:5

Does anyone else find this difficult? I don’t know about you, but I have lots of thoughts. Endless thoughts. Millions of different ones, and so many that replay themselves over and over. I am having trouble catching them all. I am not even coming close, even though I am painfully aware that so many of these need to be taken captive because they are not consistent with God’s truth. In fact, they often distract me from God’s truth. They are aimed at pulling me away from a faith and hope that leads to complete trust. And I know he is worthy of complete trust. He is good. He does all things well. But how do I get rid of all these distracting thoughts?

Well, I think I am finally beginning to accept the message that I don’t. I can probably handle some of them, but the overall task is too big. My pastor and friend gave me a book called Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. In it, Manning writes:

Understandably, then, we hide our true selves from God in prayer. We simply do not trust that he can handle all that goes on in our minds and hearts. Can he accept our hateful thoughts, our cruel fantasies, and our bizarre dreams? we wonder. Can he cope with our primitive images, our inflated illusions, and our exotic mental castles? [I would add, “Can he handle all my ruminations and worries? Can he handle my warped mind? Can he handle my future?”] We conclude that he cannot and thus withhold from Jesus what is most in need of his healing touch.

In order to grow in trust, we must allow God to see us and love us precisely as we are. The best way to do this is through prayer. As we pray, the unrestricted love of God gradually transforms us. We open ourselves to receive our own truth in the light of God’s truth. The Spirit opens our eyes to see what really is, to pierce through illusions so that we can discover we are seen by God with a gaze of love.

Hmmm… So I pray, and I get changed? It seems like there should be so much more involved in tackling such a big task, but he is showing me that his power in my life is released in greater measure through prayer. As I pray, I get changed – the thoughts lessen, but he also equips me to take them captive when they do arise. I see him changing me. So I pray more than I have every prayed - not because I have to in order to be a “good Christian,” but because I desire to. Because I see it transforming me into the person God created before the distortions of this world warped his original design. Prayer is an amazing way to connect with God. It is amazing how I can speak to him in prayer when I allow myself. It is even more amazing how I hear from him through prayer – especially lately. He is blessing me with so many personal touches. And more and more, I trust him to handle all of my junk, all of my silly and not so silly ruminations. I trust him to handle the future that is so hard to let go of. I trust him with the very trust that he instills as I draw closer to him in prayer. He gives me all that I need to continue on this journey.

Lord, I thank you and praise you…