Sunday, December 18, 2005

Ponderings Through a Partial Foil

It’s rare that I find something in one of those women’s magazines that I think is worth quoting for anything more than entertainment value. You know - the ones you read when you are sitting at a beauty salon with foil all over your head waiting to get your next new look. Ah…highlights and a haircut…there is nothing like it to at least temporarily make you feel better about whatever crap is going on in your life. But I digress…

Yesterday, as I repeatedly pushed this one annoying piece of foil out of my line of sight, I found some pretty interesting stuff in one of these magazines. Of course I, being the astoundingly unobservant person I am when it comes to this stuff, can’t remember the name of the magazine. But I do remember some of what I read.

There was an article about getting your figure back after having a baby, and it was pretty interesting. Now, I don’t need that information at the moment, but I filed it away for potential future use.

Then I went to something really, really light – something about 55 ways to keep your love alive in long term relationships. Now, I usually completely ignore any article entitled “XX Ways To…” This policy has served me well most of my life, so I generally stick to it. But this time I had time to kill, and I had read and looked at everything else of interest, so I went there. The list was pretty tongue in cheek - some serious stuff and then some humorous stuff submitted by comedians or whatever.

For men, the one I liked was from the man who has the longest recorded marriage in history. What was his advice? To never underestimate the power of the words, “Yes, dear.” Sounds like a very, very wise man.

For women, there was one particularly funny one about not reserving blow jobs (hey, I am just the messenger here) for just birthdays and anniversaries. No big surprise there, but worth filing away for potential future use just the same :)

Most of all, though, I really liked some of the serious ones. As a single woman over 30, my thoughts about dating are less about just getting to know who I am and who others are in relationships and more about who I might like to be with long term. As everyone is aware, there is advice for this stuff everywhere you turn. I usually ignore it and just listen to my heart and the whispers of God into my heart. However, I did think the following two comments were truly words of wisdom and really not all that different from what God has been speaking to me on my journey.

Don’t pick the person you think you can live with; pick the individual you think you can’t live without. –Dr. James Dobson

Whatever you think about Dr. Dobson, this seems to be good advice. We get so caught up on the little things about the people we are interested in romatically. It can drive you crazy going back and forth on this stuff. “Can I see my life without this person?” seems much more important. It’s obviously not the whole story, but it’s a great starting place.

First, choose the one you love; then, love the one you choose.

I don’t remember who said this other than the fact that it was submitted by one of the magazine’s readers. I think it could not be any more true. Hold out for someone you are truly in love with; however, there will also be many times when you will each have to choose to keep that love alive. Choosing someone means committing to choose to love them. Not always easy, but a beautiful picture of the kind of love that Jesus talks about.

So, there you have it. Actual words of wisdom found in the pages of Cosmo or Elle or whatever it was - definitely an unexpected find. Of course, maybe none of this is at all interesting, and it was just the metallic foil interfering with my brain waves. You're done reading. You decide.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

that's good stuff, marsha... yeah, i don't know about dobson's politics most of the time, but his marriage/family advice is pretty good for the most part... here's hoping that guy you can't live without comes along soon... :)

Steve Fuller said...

Filter activated.

Lucid Magazine said...

Don’t pick the person you think you can live with; pick the individual you think you can’t live without. –Dr. James Dobson

First, choose the one you love; then, love the one you choose.

Gosh. that is so true isn't it. Simple but yet difficult. And doesn't having someone you can't live without border on pyscho-stalker situation?
can anyone say restraining order...

good post. great ending.

Aaron said...

The second one is definitely true - love the one you choose. When I marry people (by that I mean perform their ceremony, not that I am a habitual aisle runner) they always ask me for advice - I actually hate it when they do, but the only thing I ever say is remember "love is a verb, not just a feeling." Feelings will always fluctuate and after 10+ years of marriage Brooke and I have learned to say "I love you, but I really don't like you today." Love is choosing to care for that person and actively love them even on those days when you really don't like them.

Anonymous said...

luv is a verb. that sounds like a dc talk song. :)

sorry, couldn't resist.

stinkowoman said...

I feel...enlightened. Yeah.