"You Can Call Me Fatty" and other miscellaneous life stories

And here is the latest in a long line of stories from this stressful but eventful job of mine...

You Can Call Me Fatty

(Fade-in to supervision with one of my trainees yesterday)

Me: I see you have been working with Johnny and his parents. We should talk about how therapy is going so far and make sure your plan sounds appropriate to me.

Trainee: OK, great. Yadayadayada...And so, we had our first parent coaching session yesterday. Mom and dad are divorced but both committed to practicing at home with Johnny this week - Dad four times a week, and mom each weekend day when she has visitation. They are really coachable.

Me: Sounds good. Let's talk again next week after you do a bit more next session. Have we talked about this family before?

Trainee: Yes. This is the one where the dad is a pretty obese guy, and, when I introduced myself and asked how he would like to be addressed, he said, "My name is XXXX, but you can call me Fatty." And then when I called his house another time and got his answering machine, he was all "Hi, this is Fatty. Leave a message." And another time, someone else answered the phone and was like, "Just a minute...(in background) Faaaaaattttttyyyyy!!!!"

Me: Oh yeah, I remember now....so, what else do we need to talk about today?

(And Scene)

Next, a little treat from earlier in the week...

I just moved into Clifton. With this move, I am leaving my old gym behind and joining something closer. I work out way early in the morning, and that just isn't going to happen if I have to travel very far to get there. So, long story short, I decided to join the UC Fitness Center in the Campus Rec Center.

I will say that the center is pretty impressive. The only catch is parking. I don't work on campus, so I don't have parking there. Now, I don't live that far, but I have a small window of time to work out in the morning before work, and walking eats up a lot of that time. I am not averse to walking or running, but this will not be fun in the cold and/or rain. So, I have an epiphany. Why not ride my bike? All sorts of visions of me looking all cool riding my bike through campus come into my mind, and I settle on this option.

So, the morning after I join, I plan to ride my bike to the gym before work, work out, and ride home to get ready for work. The whole process starts around 6am - a treat from my former 5am workout time. Anyway, I get up all gung ho. I had prepared the night before by buying a bike lock for the sweet bike I bought last summer, so I was all set. I go in the basement to get my bike, and I head outside.

It's a little cold this time of year still, isn't it? This is especially true at 6am. Thirty degrees that day, in fact. I hadn't really thought about that. Oh well...

Wow, Clifton is pretty hilly, isn't it? I knew that, but there is nothing like getting on a bicycle for the first time in months (and before that, years) to bring that point home. Huffing and puffing and with copious amounts of snot smeared across my face, I arrive at UC. Almost there...

College campuses never make paths with direct access to anywhere, do they? It is always circuitous. I had forgotten that...

Working this bike lock on this fancy bike lock holder seemed a lot simpler last night, didn't it? Oh, got it. Great.

[Intermission for uneventful gym workout]

Carry over previous comments about cold, hills, huffing, puffing, snot, and circuitous bike routes and add the following on the ride home: 1) Many more people around to view said huffing, puffing, and snot. 2) Many more cars on the street to make this yet another in a long line of "I almost died" stories that I am compiling for my David Sedaris-style autobiography. 3) Me without my bike helmet (what was I thinking?!!), and 4) Arriving at my house again to find that my lungs hurt from the cold and that my hand was frozen in position on my brake.

And to top it all off, when I had arrived near campus, I had noticed plenty of street parking available at that time of day. Needless to say, if you go by campus between 6 and 7am from now on, you will see a black Ford Focus parked on the street...at least until it's warmer. Then you might see a helmeted, snot-free, cardiovascularly-fit, female biker riding over to campus. Be sure to say "hi" to her for me.