And The Winner Is...

Me

Why, you ask? Because May is Birthday Month™. And Birthday Month™ is a month where I get to win everything, even when it is clear that I lost. It's consolation for turning a year older, this year as old as Jesus when he died (no, I can't seem to forget that one). Some other rules of Birthday Month™ are included below. It's probably best to memorize them if you will be seeing me at all in May:

1. Marsha is always right (you probably already figured this out, but I thought I would remind you)
2. Marsha looks great everyday, even when she looks like crap.
3. Marsha doesn't have to put up with people picking on her incessantly - she can react however she pleases without consequence or grudge.
4. Anyone who says "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" gets a consequence of Marsha's choosing.
5. Marsha gets to make up more rules as needed.
   

And with that being said, I will plan on seeing you all next month, after Birthday Month™ has safely come and gone. Happy May!!

™ Birthday Month is a registered trademark established by Marsha to denote the special treatment deserved during the month of her birth. Unauthorized use to garner special treatment during your own month of birth is strictly prohibited.