I see it in people’s eyes, and I hear it in their voices. I recognize it because I, too, think it in my own mind. Logic stares me in the face, and, no matter how hard I try, I can’t make myself believe that it is to be accepted. I can’t help but want to defy it. I wait on a hope deferred, trying to keep my heart from growing sick. And I am scared, because it makes no sense. And I worry, because what if I am wrong and just plain delusional? And just when I am about to give up – to accept less than what I believe I have been told to expect - I once again hear God speak to me what He has previously spoken, each time in new and different ways. He somehow speaks specifically to the doubts and questions that are arising in the moment.
Each time, he tells me that He is in control. He has issued me a promise, and He will not disappoint. He is what I just the other night heard described as my “Holy But.” It makes no sense, BUT God is a God of irrational things. He is a God of miracles. He is a God that can make the unbelievable believable. He is beyond all I can hope for or imagine. He is beyond my view of reality and reason, and he is beyond that of others as well.
It is He who reminds me:
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; BUT [emphasis mine] those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40: 28-31 (New International Version)
I am so very tired and so very weary. BUT my God never becomes so, even though he walks the same path with me. I have limitations, BUT my God created the ends of the earth – and the possibilities of what he created are limitless. I have a finite understanding of my circumstances and those of others, BUT my God has understanding that knows no boundaries – there is nothing that is not possible through Him. I grow weak under the strain of my circumstances, BUT he renews my strength. Through him I can soar like I had wings to fly. I need only to let go of what anchors me to the ground and allow it to happen.
What could be better than this? How could what he has in store for me not be worth waiting for? And even better - He walks with me and sustains me and even makes a way for me to actually soar – soar! - as I journey toward the full experience of that which he has to give me. He is perhaps taking detours I didn’t expect, but the experience of the journey is itself a blessing.
Too often, I miss all the scenery on a road trip because I am so anxious to get to the final destination. If I had done this on my recent road trip to Yellowstone I would have missed so much. I would have missed the deer and the antelope playing (literally). I would have missed amazing sunrises and unbelievable sunsets. I would have missed stars as far as the eye can see across an expanse of sky as clear as I have ever experienced. I would have missed meeting interesting people and managing to wrangle a cameo picture in two small town newsletters. What a waste that would have been.
Too often, I have neglected to pay attention to the blessings in store along the way in my journey with God as well. No more. I am now going to try my damndest to pay attention to the scenery on my travels, not just to the end point alone. The beauty, I am finding, is in the detours.
Lord, continue to open my eyes and my heart to what you are showing me now, as we walk together to the fulfillment of your promises to me, and as we continue to walk to our final destination together. You are truly worth waiting on. Thank you for the experience.
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5 comments:
this was really good, encouraging stuff. thanks!
btw, i'm glad you're back. it's been weird not having a vital part of our team (and just an all-around cool person, too :)) away these last couple of weeks.
I am glad you got a chnace to "stop and smell the roses." Did the newspaper cameos have anything to do with you dressing up like a potato by chance?
Thanks, Candyce. It's always nice to know that you are missed, and I missed you guys, too. And yes, stinkowoman, I think that the cameos would have been harder to wrangle without the potato head outfit. But then again, maybe my charming personality could have managed it :-)
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
So nice to know. And the awesome thing is that HE does not have to, but HE does anyway! And how He does, in abundance. I think the stakes are higher for God than for us. To us, we are in the midst of this and we desperately want to do things right. And He is like, you know how much you are worth, "the blood and life of the Prince of Heaven was spilt to purchase you back. You are not going ANYWHERE!" we are in His arms. I too was wallowing once and crying out in desperation, and He said, "I will NOT allow your feet to be moved" If he did, how would He look? He has his word to think about.
But sometimes, it seems a long time coming. We are tempted to imitate this guy:
"34The darkness lasted three hours. At three o'clock, Jesus groaned out of the DEPTHS, crying loudly, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?"
And I think God's answer might be, I abandoned you Jesus, so I would never have to abandon Marsha.
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